Let’s talk EXECUTIVE PRESENCE
Have you been told you have it?
That you need it?
EVER WONDERED EXACTLY WHAT IT IS…AND WHO EXACTLY IS MAKING THE RULES? US TOO.
Below, check out our 3-part podcast / video series, as well as our eye-opening, definition-expanding executive presence panel, featuring Kelly Hoey, Phnam Bagley, Christina Blacken, and Patty Alvarenga.
POLISH
Calling someone “polished” seems to be shorthand for:
Looking the way we expect you to look — looking expensive, “understated”, “neat”, fitting into whatever spoken or unspoken standards this industry has for clothing and appearance
Speaking the way we expect you to speak — eliminating accents, regionalisms, speech we consider too “youthful”, slang, and dialects like African American Vernacular English; eliminating “problem words” like just, like, sorry; eliminating verbal fillers; using “good speech”
Acting the way we expect you to act — knowing your cultural etiquette, manners, and hierarchy. Being rehearsed . . . but not in any visible way — effortlessness is key
Translation: Polish is about looking (and sounding) financially well-off, about pretending human beings never sweat or get dirty or disheveled, and about pretending that we come from the same culture (or at least can learn to seamlessly fit into the dominant culture).
The problem is that this extremely narrow definition often only leaves room for those who learn to (or already do) dress, speak, and act like those who are ALREADY leaders: i.e. white, wealthy, cisgender, straight, conventionally attractive, able-bodied men (and ocasionally women). This has enormous consequences for anyone who falls outside any of those categories. If you are seen as lacking traditional polish, you may not advance.
POISE
If polish is about how you look and how you act, poise is about how you REACT. How do “leaders” respond to stimulus? According to an article in Forbes:
“A person with good executive presence never lets people see her sweat. She’s not harried running from meeting to meeting, she’s not flustered when she speaks, and she seems like the person who, even in the wake of a crisis in the middle of the night, could still show up looking put together. . . . Be calm, collected, and the person with all the answers, and you’ll be seen as a leader.”
Showing what we expect you to show: warmth, gravitas, decisiveness
Not showing what we expect you to hide: control over “negative” emotions, control over your response to conflict, control over fear or discomfort.
Control over uncertainty: Always know the answer, and if you don’t, be able to meaningfully fake it.
Translation: Poise is about self-control: pretending human beings don’t ever feel negative emotions and are not meaningfully affected by other people, challenges, and circumstances. It’s also about being a human version of Janet from The Good Place, with the correct answer to any and every question anyone may have for you.
But poise can become a nearly impossible standard to meet — mainly because human beings simply don’t and can’t have all the answers all the time, and because there is no such thing as “neutral”. Human beings are not neutral in how we ourselves respond to stimulus, and we are not neutral in how we are perceived by others. Demanding perfect calm and control in the face of all conflict sets people up for failure, emotional shutdown, and burnout.
POWER
Julie and Casey sit down live to talk about all things power, what we can control vs. what we can't, and ways to find your own kind of power that doesn't require anyone's permission.
Power is not only demonstrated through external presentation, of course . . . but the way we’re judged for whether or not we have it is often via cultural or surface-level standards.
POWER IS MEASURED BY:
Your effect on others: Do people listen to you and take you seriously?
Are people willing to be led by you? If they are unwilling, can you convince them, accomplish your goals, or manifest your will anyway?
How do you handle obstacles? When you encounter them, can you overcome them, destroy them, or ignore them . . . or are you weak?
Confidence — do you have it? Do other people think you have it?
Charisma — are people drawn to you?
Translation: Power is about pretending that “real leaders” don’t get scared or feel unsure of themselves or their ideas. It’s knowing how to gain buy-in and/or control over others by any (socially acceptable) means necessary, whether that’s positive (charm, charisma, confidence) or negative (force, dominance).
THE FUTURE OF LEADERSHIP PANEL
Watch as we explore the nebulous definition of executive presence and how our idea of what leaders should look and sound like has marginalized so many. Along the way, expect corporate horror stories, tales of triumph, and big laughs . . . along with truth bombs and mic drop moments that blow the idea that leaders need to look and sound one particular way out of the water.
PANEL GUESTS:
Phnam Bagley is building the future . . . literally. She is a speaker, educator, and founder of the firm Nonfiction Design, taking on everything from headphones to furniture to space architecture to turn science fiction into reality. http://nonfiction.design
Kelly Hoey is the author of THE SOCIAL BILLIONAIRE and BUILD YOUR DREAM NETWORK, speaker, community builder, and world-renowned expert in networking. She also has an extensive corporate background in both law and finance. http://jkellyhoey.co
Christina Blacken is revolutionizing the modern workplace with her company New Quo, introducing how narrative intelligence can be used to tackle inequities and make work work better for everyone. http://thenewquo.com
Patty Alvarenga is on the ground every day running conversations on equity and inclusion that are shaping the future of work with The Collective. http://hello-collective.com